Why I Hate Daily Fantasy Sports

Before I get to the funny I want to take a quick moment to say that over the weekend Going for 2 lost a good friend and supporter of this site, B. Meeks.  He was not only a fan of this site but also of this column and I had the great honor of being a guest on his podcast “Agree to Disagree” on several occasions and each time I didn’t feel like I was being interviewed but just shooting the shit with a close friend, which is a testament to Meeks’ talent.  Even though we never met face to face, only chatted on the phone and through Twitter I will always consider him a close friend and the podcasting world has truly lost a very unique voice that unfortunately never got to realize his true potential and that is truly a loss for all of us.

We here at Going for 2 and especially myself, send our deepest sympathize and prayers to his family.  Meeks will truly be missed by many people.

It’s tough to come up with something to joke about when you lose a friend, but with Meeks in mind, and because it’s one of the last things we talked about when I was his guest on Agree to Disagree, today’s Why I Hate will deal with Daily Fantasy, he enjoyed it, me, it’s not really my cup of tea, so in his honor, because I know if he were still here this article would have been a great topic for us to discuss on the podcast,  and always remember, don’t take this completely seriously, I don’t mean it completely literally, but this is Why I Hate Daily Fantasy.

It’s Gambling:  The proprietors of this shame want to convince you that it’s a game of skill, but let me ask you a question, you put down a small amount of money in hopes of winning a lot more money, what’s that?  Don’t worry I’ll wait for your answer… Okay, you’re taking too much time, shit you’re dumb, the answer is “it’s gambling”.

If you don’t believe me, ask the FBI who are investing gating Draft Kings and Fan Duel, also the New York State’s Attorney is seeking to ban it in the state of New York, because, <gasp> he considers it gambling.  Also, the gaming board of Nevada has determined it to be gambling.

Sure, sure, I’m taking the side of the government, but like any junkie people come up with excuses for their terrible habits.  Shit on the sites they say “100% legal” whenever someone tells me they are 100% of anything I can’t help but raise an eyebrow.  It also doesn’t help their cause of it being a skill game when they applied for a gambling license to operate in the U.K., or that one of their search terms on Google is “betting”.

But don’t take it from me, let’s see what Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Namath has to say,

“Do they have to pay anything to play? Do they win something? It’s gambling”

Well, shit, you know something is awry with Joe “I want to kiss Suzy Kolber live on Monday Night Football” Namath is the voice of fucking reason.

Their commercials are ruining TV:  Do you know how often a daily fantasy commercial airs?  Every 90 fucking seconds, you only need commercials that often to try to hook people on your new drug, shit boner pill commercials don’t even air that often and sex is way better than gambling.

I expect this shit to air during games (even though I loathe their commercials, the least they could do is make them entertaining if they’re going to run so many) but shit I can’t escape them now, no matter what station I’m on, no matter what I’m watching I see them.

It Could Ruin Season Long Fantasy:  How could Daily Fantasy possibly ruin season long fantasy?  I’m glad you asked, I’ll tell you.  On October 13, 2006, Congress passed  the Unlawful Internet Gambling Act (UIGEA) and daily fantasy sites are clinging to this law in order to say they are exempt from gambling laws.  This law which was to crack down on online gambling exempted fantasy sports because in 2006 they were mostly harmless inter-office or among friends friendly gambling, and it was a one-time payment that last 17 weeks or so, so you weren’t doing it every day like a heroin addict.

Former Congressman Jim Leech (who drafted the law) said;

“It’s pure chutzpah for the daily fantasy sports sites to pretend that this makes them legal.”

What’s scary is that this law never said that fantasy sports weren’t legal but that states could decide whether or not they fell into the state’s idea of gambling.  Most states let this go seeing that it was harmless, however, with daily fantasy using this loop-hole as it were, states or even the federal government could tighten regulations on season long fantasy sports and for all of us fantasy fans out there it might make it harder to play, in the sense that we might not have such easy access to it.

The deck is stacked:  The ads make it seem so easy to win a lot of money in daily fantasy, but it’s complete bullshit.  A study done this summer during the first half of the Major League Baseball season showed that 91% of the profits were won by only 1.3% of the players, in fact, 85% of the players were losers.

In fact to actually win big and consistently in daily fantasy you have to be a literal statistical genius with algorithms that tell you everything you need to know about a player, where they’re playing that day, what the weather is like, who they’re playing, you basically have to be Bill James.

Also, some of the biggest winners of daily fantasy are the employees themselves.  Sure they can’t gamble, I mean skillfully play on their own sights, but can play on their competitors’ sites and since all the daily fantasy sites use the same methods and their employees have access to their own sites algorithms is makes winning easy for them, which is why a couple of months ago a DraftKings employee won $350,000 off a Fan Duel site.  I don’t know about you but not only does this not seem fair, but shady as all fuck.

They keep you hooked:  One of the biggest promotions both sites have going is that they’ll match your first deposit up to $200, you just have to type one of a host of promo codes when you sign up, which any smart person would know that you can’t withdraw that bonus money from your account (but if you were smart you would be playing daily fantasy) so you’ll always have money in your account to lure you back for one more hit.

Also, you can’t withdraw anything under $20 so if you start with $5 that $5 is locked into the site until you win at least $20 or lose it all.  Guess which one you’re more likely to do.

It’s a Dangerous Addiction:  Gambling, and this is gambling, is a dangerous and addicting thing.  It ruins lives on a daily basis and like alcohol it’s regulated, and it’s regulated in order to protect people.  Daily fantasy using loopholes to exploit this allows for online gambling to go unregulated, which means a ton of people can legally gamble and like a slot machine in any casino they hook you with small stakes and small winnings, but the average person can’t stop there with their $50 winnings, so they reinvest and try to win bigger pots, but lose, but like all gambling addicts they’re so sure they know why the lost and double down knowing how to beat the system, and then lose some more.  There is a reason the saying “the house always wins” exists, because in the end, the house always wins.

https://youtu.be/QJ453REQhys

In the end its your money, do whatever the fuck you want with it, but I assure you, you’re going to lose, but that is why I hate daily fantasy, you can disagree with me, but I’d like you to know you’re wrong and I hate you.  However, if you’d like to know more about me, and why wouldn’t you, you can follow me on the Twitter @jomac006 or learn about my awesome writing career here , pick up my books at Amazon, check out my nerdy website Clash of the Nerds, and lastly if you’re a fine lady you should swipe right on Tinder.

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ATTN Dynasty Commissioners: Do you want to do something cool for your league? How about a 1-hour live show dedicated to YOUR league? Team-by-team breakdowns, rankings, and more. For details and to book a show, visit: GoingFor2.com/plp.