The 12 Worst Types of Dynasty Managers Guaranteed You’ll Hate

If you’re like me then you probably play in a ton of fantasy leagues, and if you play dynasty, you’re probably in at least three, if not more. If you’ve been playing long enough, I’m sure you’ve run into one or more of these types of managers. Some can be so frustrating that they ruin the fun for everyone, and some could even force you to eventually leave a league. Others are just a minor nuisance, but it’s the continual nuisance that eventually gets to you, like that pebble in your shoe. Either way, these are he 12 worst types of dynasty managers guaranteed you’ll hate…

12) The Redraft Manager

Everyone knows this manager. He’s in a little over his head and drafts his team like it’s a redraft team. He gets the aging running backs early, he gets the quarterbacks that are nearing the end of their careers, and takes the wide receivers that are going to hit the wall sooner rather than later.

The most annoying thing about the Redraft Manager isn’t the fact that he takes all the old guys because let’s face it, that leaves more young players for us. No, it’s the fact that he has no idea what he is doing but he likely wins the championship the first year and you will never hear the end of it.

11) The Novelist

The Novelist is the reason TLDR became a popular social media acronym — for those not hip to social media, it means Too Long Didn’t Read. This is the manager that sends you a trade offer with a 4-page essay on why you should take his offer. He always makes it seem like he is doing you a favor with his trade offer. It starts off something like this…

“It looks like you’re a running back away from being a contender, and I just happen to have a bunch of good RBs that I’m willing to trade to help you out….”

Then he proceeds to explain to you why you should trade your top-15 wide receiver for the RB6 on his roster and a 3rd-round pick. He will poo-poo your player to make them seem less appealing while pumping up his average-to-below-average player as if he was the second coming of Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson rolled into one.

The worst thing about the Novelist is, he doesn’t proofread his message before sending it to you. He barely uses periods or commas, spells words incorrectly, or leaves words out entirely — by the time you’re done reading it, you’ll have a headache and you’ll wish you just responded, “TLDR.”

That’s 11 minutes you’ll never get back.

10) Bob the Rebuilder

Oh, Bob the Rebuilder, I feel bad for you sometimes. Somewhere along the way, you forgot the point of fantasy football isn’t having the best portfolio, its’ about winning championships. This is the manager that is in constant rebuild mode, every year he is selling off his assets for future picks. He says things like, “He is getting up there in age” or, “He is starting to slow down” or my favorite, “better a year early than a year late.”

At some point, you would think he would go all in to win a championship, but nope, he sells his second-year stud wide receiver for a future draft pick and says, “Next year’s class looks amazing!”

9) Oprah Winfrey

“You get a player, and you get a player, and you get a pick.” Everyone has that one manager in their league that likes to give their players and picks away. They always think they’re great traders and say things like, “Just wait, we will see who wins the trade by the end of the season.”

Spoiler Alert: It’s not him.

Everyone is always trying to trade with him. They all want a piece of that charity, and it never fails, he tends to make those bad trades with teams that are already good — and he makes them better. His team is like a minor league farming system, just as his players start to get good, they get called up to the pros, but in this case, the pros are your main competition.

8) Jenny “On the Block”

The serial “on the block” dynasty manager. This is the owner that constantly puts players on the block, but rarely ever trades with anyone because he wants way too much for them. This manager is especially annoying if you’re on the Sleeper platform because every time he puts a player on the block, it goes straight into the chat and you’ll get a notification. If he has a player that has been on the block for a while, he will take them off…just to put them back on the block again so that the notification goes off one more time.

He also tends to put players on the block immediately after trading for them, or if a player has any breaking news he inevitably puts them on the block.

“Breaking news, Tyreek Hill traded to the Dolphins”…

10-seconds later in the Sleeper chat, “Tyreek Hill has been added to the trade block”.

It’s like clockwork, but good luck actually getting a trade done with this manager.

7) The Accountant

Oh, the Accountant. The accountant is the manager that lives and dies by trade calculators. He thinks he knows all the values of all the players and will send screenshots from the trade calculator to prove the offer is good. However, he doesn’t stick to just one calculator. He always finds the one that benefits him the most in negotiating. He will say things like, “See, this is a fair deal. According to TheBestestEverTradeCalc.com, you’re winning this trade.”

The bestest ever trade what? What the hell is that?

His trades are normally the type where he clumps a bunch of his low-end players together to equal your stud. Four guys valued at five points each does not equal one guy valued at 20, even if the math says it does.

6) The “…or else” Guy

Stop me if you’ve heard this before;

“If you keep ‘insert rule‘ I’m leaving this league. That rule is so bush league”.

Chances are, that rule has been a rule since the beginning of the league, and it bit him in the ass this season, and suddenly he wants it removed. But, instead of just asking it be put up to a vote as any normal person would do, he threatens to leave the league.

Never mind the fact that the rule benefited him in previous seasons. Never mind the fact that if the rule had not been in place, he wouldn’t have made the playoffs in the first. And, never mind the fact that the league was planning to put it to a vote anyway, he still wants to threaten, “change it or else”.

5) The Procrastinator

This manager is so frustrating. He’s the one you send a trade offer to, and he lets it sit there for days. He will let you know he saw the trade but, “He has to think about it.”

You’ll see him on discord channels, on Twitter, Facebook, and even on podcast chats asking everyone what they think of the trade. You know the one, he posts a screenshot of the trade offer with the words, “Who wins?”

If you’re dealing with The Procrastinator, trust me, no one wins. No trade will ever get done because inevitably, one guy on Facebook will say it’s a bad trade, and even if 10 others say they like the trade, the one guy saying no is the one he eventually listens to.

4) The Hindsight Trader

I absolutely loathe this guy. Everyone has one of these guys in their leagues, sometimes more than one of them. Stop me if you’ve heard this before, “I’d have given you more for him.”

I hate that guy. You work on a trade with one of the four guys that are still active in the offseason. You spend maybe a week or more doing counter-offers and reworking the deal, then, finally, you get a deal done — selling your aging (but still top-15) wide receiver for a running back and some future picks.

And then the Hindsight Trader chimes in, after being inactive for the last 5 weeks, “I’d have given you more for him.” No, you wouldn’t have. You haven’t even responded to my last 3 DMs trying to make a similar deal.

Do you know what I’d like to say to all the “Hindsight Traders” out there?

F*ck you. That is all.

3) The “Get Off My Lawn” Guy

This guy/gal is the worst. As a commissioner of a bunch of leagues, there is always that one guy/girl that never wants to change anything. Nothing. And, God forbid if you, as the commissioner, suggest a change — they always make it sound like you somehow benefit the most from the change.

If you were to suggest removing the kicker to add another flex spot, he responds with, “You only want to do that cause your kickers suck and you have a good running back on your bench”.

Or, you suggest an extra taxi squad spot: “You only want to do that cause you traded for all those draft picks last season and now you have nowhere to stash them”

It doesn’t matter what the change is, they will always fight you over it. And, even when the majority of the league votes in your favor, he will accuse you of manipulating the league to vote, “What, did you pay them to vote for you? Did you promise them a draft pick or something?”

I have this to say to all the “Get Off My Lawn Guys”… Get out of my league. If you don’t like the way the league is run, find another league.

2) The Used Car Salesman

Oh, this guy is sleazy. This is the manager that tries to trick you into taking trades. He sends you J. Taylor for K. Allen and E. Mitchell. Sounds good right? Only J. Taylor is J.J. Taylor from the Patriots.

Or, you and he agree to a trade in a DM, and part of the trade is a high 2nd-round pick, but when he officially sends the trade over, it’s a late 2nd-round pick. When you call him out on it, he plays dumb, like it was just a mistake.

He’s also the manager that knows you work on Sunday, and one of his good-but-not-great running back goes down early in the game with an injury that looks season-ending. Now, you’re just getting off work and you see a trade in your inbox with that running back — he’s hoping you haven’t seen the injury update on him yet and you just hit accept.

Stop trying to pull a fast one, or I’ll tell you what I tell sleazy car salesmen, “I’ll be back later”.

1) The Bad Commissioner

The 11 previous managers I’ve called out all pale in comparison to the Bad Commissioner. We’ve all been in leagues where the commissioner has all the power. He vetoes trades that he thinks are one-sided. He’ll change the rules in the middle of the season, or, change rules in the offseason, with no league voting, that suspiciously benefit him the most. He also takes his sweet time paying out the winner of the league every season, likely because he spent it and now has to come up with the money to pay out.

He threatens to kick anyone out that opposes him, even if their argument is sound and some of the league agrees with them. He will say things like, “If you don’t like it, leave the league”, or, “I run a bunch of leagues and that’s how I do it in all of them, and none of them complain about it, stop being such a wimp”. Wimp isn’t the word he really uses, but I don’t want to get canceled.

Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn’t, thanks for reading it anyway. Are there any hated Dynasty managers I missed? Let me know @GeoffLambert77. And, if you don’t have any of these managers in your league, it’s not because you’re lucky, it’s because it’s you.

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