Four Down Territory: Nuklear Radiation

Third Down

For a lot of fans it’s time to fire up the mock draft pack. Your team is under .500 so you’ve decided to fast forward to the offseason in hopes for a better future.

How much hope should you have, though?

Well, let’s talk about it with hope meters. Your team’s hope meter goes from 0-10 with ten being the best.

AFC East

New England Patriots (4-5): The Pats are projected to have eleven picks in the 2021 draft and right now are sitting with the 15th pick. Bill Belichick is still your coach and GM and until he puts a string of failures together there’s no reason to jump ship. Hope Meter: 7

New York Jets (0-9): Winless through nine weeks but it’s all part of the plan for Trevor Lawrence. That is if he decides to declare. You have a competent GM in Joe Douglas as long as Adam Gase is shown the door. It’s okay to be cautiously optimistic. Hope Meter: 4.5

AFC West

Denver Broncos (3-6): The Broncos always feel like they’re in a loop. They have a STUD in Jerry Jeudy but Drew Lock is just meh. John Elway’s biggest weakest is evaluating QB talent and that will continue to haunt the Broncos as long as he’s in charge. Hope Meter: 3

Los Angeles Chargers (2-7): The Charges have a lot of talent but just can’t put a complete game together. Justin Herbert seems legit and they’ll have a top-five pick. What coach will be making that pick is to be determined but there’s plenty to smile about for the Chargers. Hope Meter: 8

AFC North

Cincinnati Bengals (2-6-1): They have the Joe brothers in Burrow and Mixon and a young receiving core. There’s plenty to be excited about. The formula will be simple for them; protect Burrow no matter the price. Use that top-ten pick to draft your future left tackle. Hope Meter: 6

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AFC South

Houston Texans (2-7): Houston has something that most franchises would kill for; a bonafide QB. Outside of that they really don’t have anything talent wise. Bill O’Brien traded their first round pick to the Dolphins this year so the only way to build a team is through free agency. The problem is they’re in cap hell until 2022. Hopefully Watson can survive before things turn around but other than that there’s nothing fun going on here. Hope Meter: 2

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-8): Find another sport, Jags fans. Hope Meter: 0

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles (3-5-1): The Eagles are old, in cap hell, their coach has lost his Moxy, and their franchise quarterback is regressing. The team always appears to be injured and it seems that every year a story leaks about turmoil. They’ve been declining for years and rock bottom appears to be around the corner. As long as Howie Roseman is in charge this team will continue to struggle. Hope Meter: 3

New York Giants (3-7): This division is so terrible that the Giants should have hope, even if it’s false hope. Barkley will return next year and when he’s not giving the ball to the other team Danny Dimes is good enough. Joe Judge seems to be making it work so why not be hopeful, Big Blue. Hope Meter: 5

Washington Football Team (2-7): Washington has one of the best defensive lines in the league and they’re all young. The biggest question around this team is the QB. How much can they get for Haskins? Who will be his replacement? The good news is that if the team drafts a rookie the defense will carry them until he’s up to speed. Dominant defensive lines can win Super Bowls; just ask the Giants and Eagles. Hope Meter: 6

Dallas Cowboys (2-7): The Cowboys need to answer the question of what to do with Dak. If they have a top five pick you can believe Jerry will explore his options under center. Lamb, Cooper, and Gallup are a great trio but Zeke is washed and the offensive line is fading. The defense needs a lot of work and Mike McCarthy might be gone before New Years. At least you have Luka, Dallas. Hope Meter: 3

NFC West

San Francisco 49ers (4-6): Chalk this year up to injuries. This team has elite talent everywhere and will be contending again in 2021. They caught some bad breaks; it happens. Hope Meter: 8

NFC North

Minnesota Vikings (4-5): Will always be good but greatness will always be hard with Cousins under center. Playoff contenders yearly, never Super Bowl threats. Hey, that’s better than what’s going on Jacksonville. Hope Meter: 6

Detroit Lions (4-5): We talked about Matt Patricia on first down. Good luck, Lions. Hope Meter: 2

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons (3-6): *insert lead blowing insult here* Falcon fans won’t have any hope until a new regime takes over which will happen this offseason. The first move needs to be committing to a rebuild. Get what you can for Matt Ryan and Julio Jones and get this started. Hope Meter: 4

Carolina Panthers (3-6): Matt Rhule has this team playing hard and that’s a great sign for a new coach. CMC has been banged up but Teddy has been good. Some major changes are on the horizon but it should be for the best. Hope meter: 7

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Matthew

Never fight the funk, ever.

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