NFL Preseason Accolades That Don’t Exist But Should

Follow Me


Never fight the funk, ever.
Follow Me

Latest posts by Matthew (see all)

The preseason is over and it’s almost time to start watching meaningful football.

I’ve been waiting to type that sentence for an entire month.

The preseason can’t be officially over until we give out awards that you won’t see at the ‘NFL Honors’ show but these winners deserve to be recognized. Besides, we can’t let something like this pass us by; just not built like that.

April 26, 2018, Award

New York Jets 

The Jets have all but punted the 2017 season away. It’s hard to tank in the NFL but the Jets are giving us the blueprint on how it’s done. Any team that struts out Christian Hackenberg, Josh McCown, and Bryce Petty as their quarterbacks is a team that’s running to the podium to draft Josh Allen or Sam Darnold next spring. Sorry, Jets fans, the next seventeen weeks are going to be rough at best.

It’s Only Preseason Until We Do Something Good 

Dallas Cowboy Fans 

I pride myself on being as objective as possible. If a team is doing well then I will say that. This, on the other hand, is a piece about awards that don’t exist. Therefore, I will roast Cowboy fans until my heart is overflowing with joy.

Stop me when you’ve heard this before.

Any other fan not rooting for Dallas: “Wow, our team did great in that preseason game! {Insert QB, RB, etc.} is going to have a great year!”

Cowboy Fan: “It’s only preseason, calm down. It’s not even that serious.”

*Dak throws a ten yard out to Witten.*


Especially since we all know how this ends.


Team to Be Eliminated From the Playoffs First 

Minnesota Vikings 

There are a lot of teams that have no shot at making the playoffs this year so they weren’t considered.

Minnesota is a fringe team. They have the talent and their defense is top-tier. But, and it’a huge but, any team that has Checkdown Charlie aka Sammy Sleeves aka I look like a kid in adult shoulder pads aka Sam Bradford as their quarterback is doomed before they start.

Quarterback Most Likely To Be Benched 

Alex Smith, Kansas City Chiefs

One could easily insert Blake Bortles here but that’s an easy target.

Smith is who he is. An efficient game manager who has difficulties throwing the ball downfield. There’s nothing wrong with that and Alex has had a good career. The problem with being mediocre, though, is that teams will always be fascinated with someone who has more potential. That story was true in San Francisco and will repeat itself in Kansas City. Patrick Mahomes has the physical tools to succeed and an arm that’s coveted. The moment Smith starts missing Tyreek Hill deep routinely is the moment Smith can start looking for employment elsewhere. Kansas City didn’t trade up to the tenth pick for nothing.

Wait, They Actually Know What They’re Doing?

Cleveland Browns

That’s right, Cleveland. You’re getting it right. The Browns seem to have become a competent organization after decades of trying.

Cleveland had every opportunity to reach for a quarterback in a draft that didn’t have an elite prospect. They had every chance to trade that pick and miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime pass rusher. They fought the urge to be Cleveland and made the right decision.

The Browns could have stuck to their guns and kept Brock Osweiler as their starter but made the right call to start DeShone Kizer.

Speaking of Kizer, how bad of a coach is Brian Kelly if DeShone is now a starting quarterback in the NFL? Couldn’t you find a way to win more than four games with him? Sad.

It looks like the Browns are preparing to take the mantle from the Cavaliers after LeBron leaves next year. Now they just have to win; easier said than done.

Tweet Me: @madads14

As always, thanks for reading.


Go for 2 with our 1 002 newsletter subscribers. Because No One Remembers the Extra Point!

Select list(s):

The following two tabs change content below.


Never fight the funk, ever.

Latest posts by Matthew (see all)


Never fight the funk, ever.

Leave a Reply

Be the First to Comment!

Notify of

Pin It on Pinterest