Last Action Quarterback: NFL QB’s and Their Action Hero Counterparts

 

Nothing is better than a good action movie.

I don’t want to contribute to the typical male stereotypes but it’s the truth. I don’t go to the movies often but when I do you can bet it’s for something that has explosions and violence. I honestly don’t understand why Michael Bay gets so much crap for his films; they have everything an action fan should love.

I digress.

I’ve ranked every quarterback in the NFL to their action hero counterpart. I created a couple of ground rules because every lists needs rules or everything will be out of control.

1. No superheroes. Ant-Man and The Hulk will make an appearance in another piece.
2. I picked quarterbacks who would start RIGHT NOW if the season started today. I know the draft and trades will change this list.
3. I assumed Fitzpatrick will be back with the Jets since he’s been a free agent for a month and no one has picked him up. Denver hasn’t even called and they’ve talked to Manziel, so you know Ryan isn’t going anywhere.

That’s it. Let’s get started.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills: Tyrod Taylor as Jack Conrad: A guy you root for but everything falls a little flat.

Miami Dolphins:  Ryan Tannehill as Alex Cross: Pushed into a roll that he’s not ready for and now we all have to suffer.

New England Patriots: Tom Brady as John McClane: The GOAT. Consistently does more with less but still gets the job done with flair.

New York Jets: Ryan Fitzpatrick as Katniss Everdeen: A person of the people and is on a mission to take down the establishment.

 

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens: Joe Flacco as John Shaft: Nothing ever fazes him. He always looks like he’s in control.

Cincinnati Bengals: Andy Dalton as Barney Ross: Does one thing well but you still can’t sit through an entire movie.

Cleveland Browns: RGIII as Riddick: Fighting something that no one else sees or cares about.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Ben Roethlisberger as The Terminator: Unbreakable and keeps coming back for more.

AFC South

Houston Texans: Brock Osweiler as Sam Witwicky: The first go around was pretty good but the sequel will be hard to watch.

Indianapolis Colts: Andrew Luck as Rambo: Lets it all hang out and goes hard. He’s not afraid to take a risk in order to achieve the goal. (Which explains his 55 career INT’s.)

Jacksonville Jaguars: Blake Bortles as Martin Riggs: Young, trigger-happy guy who asks questions later.

Tennessee Titans: Marcus Mariota as The Bride: Not much of a talker but gets straight to the action.

AFC West

Denver Broncos: Mark Sanchez as Joe Huff: Nope. Nope. Nope.

Kansas City Chiefs: Alex Smith as Mad Max: Misunderstood but still gets the job done.

Oakland Raiders: Derek Carr as Hit Girl: Young, scary, and can only get better.

San Diego Chargers: Philip Rivers as King Leonidas: Passionate and definitely doesn’t mind fighting in the shade.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys: Tony Romo as Apollo Creed: When at the top of his game he’s one of the best in the league. The ending, on the other hand, doesn’t go so well.

New York Giants: Eli Manning as Lara Croft: Smart, tough, and resourceful. They don’t get the attention they deserve but they have been one of the greats in this generation.

Philadelphia Eagles: Sam Bradford Xander Cage: Started off strong but has fizzled into obscurity. Both are trying to make a comeback as we speak.

Washington: Kirk Cousins as Bryan Mills: Impressed you during the first go around with surprising skill and catchphrase but will fizzle out the second time around. We’ll probably see a trilogy out of this at it won’t be good.

NFC North

Chicago Bears: Jay Cutler as Ethan Hunt: Really great starting out and had a lot of potential. Unfortunately, he didn’t live up to the hype.

Detroit Lions: Matt Stafford as Dominic Toretto: Can get you once or twice with a good play but over time you get tired of seeing the same thing.

Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers as James Bond: The ultimate equalizer. He can go into any situation and come out on top. He also has a few tricks up his sleeve, always a good trait to possess.

Minnesota Vikings: Teddy Bridgewater as Rick O’Connell: Not the fastest or strongest but he still achieves the goal with the skills he has.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons: Matt Ryan as Jack Sparrow: Hooked us in with an interesting first round but has since floated into the farthest parts of our mind.

Carolina Panthers: Cam Newton as Rocky: Tough as nails and keeps on coming. A special talent that took some time to mold. Now he’s starting to carve out a long-lasting legacy.

New Orleans Saints: Drew Brees as Indiana Jones: The perfect mixture of skills, wit, and resourcefulness to be successful.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jameis Winston as Steve Hiller: Cocky but when the game is on the line he’s the guy you’d like in your corner.

 

AFC West

Arizona Cardinals: Carson Palmer as Roger Murtaugh: The old, savvy vet who’s putting it together late in his career.

Los Angeles Rams: Case Keenum as John Triton: You did your best and that’s all we can ask for but no.

San Francisco 49ers: Colin Kaepernick as Chev Chelios: Fooled us once with an interesting run but three seasons in we know to change the channel.

Seattle Seahawks: Russell Wilson as Neo: Smart and has the right moves to escape unpleasant situation. Throw in Ciara (Trinity) and we’re all asking ourselves what’s real.

Cool list, right? Tell me your thoughts @mattgarrett41.

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