In just it’s second week of publication, one thing became very clear about the Lazy Man’s Guide last weekend… it is already one of the most powerful weekly fantasy football bloggy type things in the world. Some of you may be wondering, “How is that possible, your picks have been mediocre at best and seven people read this thing every week?” While these are certainly fair observations from the uninformed, you need to look a bit deeper to see how this guide is starting to single-handedly impact what happens in NFL stadiums across the country. For example, it was just last week that I made the following proclamation:

• The really bad teams in the league €”Jacksonville, Cleveland, Oakland, and Tampa are much worse than everyone else. Stream DSTs against them with joy in your heart.

What followed was certainly a sign of the apocalypse… every one of those teams– the dregs of the NFL landscape, heaping piles of festering woe, sadness, and ineptitude– pulled off improbable, perhaps impossible, wins. Obviously the Lazy Man’s Guide was plastered on the walls of those inept franchises, and awakened in their hearts the spirit of champions. Or something. Whatever happend last week was freakishly odd, leads to my fantasy tip of the week: Bad teams are still bad. Before you rush off to make some crazy trade for Johnny Manziel or Allen Hurns, remember that they are tethered for the rest of the season to offenses that will finish the season the bottom third of NFL rankings (or in the case of Manziel, end up back on the bench). On that note, I’m not going to shy away from last week’s proclamation, and in fact, I’m doubling down in Donald Trump like fashion: Oakland is the only team from that group that will win this week, and that’s only beacuse they are playing Cleveland. Now, on to the stuff you came here for…

Weather and other non-football notes: Once again the folks at NFLweather.com are predicting pretty great weather for all games, with just some light rain possible for New Orleans at Carolina and MNF with Kansas City at Green Bay.

Games and player ratings:

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Ballers Players expected to meet or exceed high fantasy point projections.

Bubble Players expected to squeak by with marginal production but not be total duds.

Bad Players you should avoid. Please note, just because a guy is in the bad€ category this week does NOT mean you should cut him, and in some cases you’€™ll have to start him, but temper your expectations.

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If a player is not listed I found them to be boring or obvious, so toss them in the bubble category.

I’€™m not including kickers because that would be dumb.

*indicates player has an injury and availability should be confirmed before game time.

Early games

Atlanta at Dallas

What a difference a couple of weeks make. What looked like a must see match up between two of the league’s most dynamic offenses now will be a match up between the Falcons dynamic offense and a Cowboys squad decimated by injuries. Jerry Jones has been getting second team reps at QB in practice and Terrell Owens has rejoined the team and alreay alienated all of his teammates. Despite all of that, I actually expect the Cowboys at home will be able to move the ball, and Brandon Weeden will put up modest numbers for himself, but enough to maintain value for his pass catchers. Joseph Randle, JasonWitten (ankles), and Cole Beasley (PPR) will get you points for the ‘Boys, and Matty Ice and Julio Jones will team up in their typical neat ways in a closer than expected road win. Out with injuries:  Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, Tevin Coleman

Ballers: Matt Ryan, Julio Jones, *Jason Witten, Joseph Randle, Cole Beasley

Bubble: Roddy White, Devonta Freeman, Jacob Tamme, Falcons DST, Terrance Williams, Lance Dunbar, Brandon Weeden

Bad:  Darren McFadden, Cowboys DST, Gavin Escobar, Brandon Weeden

Indianapolis at Tennessee

The Colts offense has been an abysmal desert of production, and they sit in last place in the woefully awful AFC South having scored 21 total points this season. The Titans beat up on a bad Tampa Bay team and then came back to earth by laying an egg against a bad Cleveland team. I think Andrew Luck is pissed and will take out his frustrations on the Titans in a big way, spurring the offense to a big game while sprinkling some of his neck beard on the charred remains of the Titans D/ST when he’s done. Frank Gore had some flashes last week and I think he gets more touches leading to 100+ total yards and a score. Coby Fleener has a big game with Dwayne Allen out. The Colts D/ST is bad and banged up so possible Marcus Mariota and the Titans do something, but it’s hard to really trust anyone on that offense until Mariota shows some consistency.  Colts get the road win.  Out with injuries:  Dwayne Allen

Ballers: Andrew Luck, Frank Gore, T.Y. Hilton, Dwayne Allen, Donte Moncrief, Coby Fleener

Bubble: Marcus Mariota, Bishop Sankey, Andre Johnson

Bad: Dexter McCluster, Dorial Green-Beckham, Justin Hunter, Harry Douglas, Delanie Walker, Phillip Dorsett, Colts DST, Titans DST

Oakland at Cleveland

Let’s start with the easy part: the Browns.  Josh McCown, inspired apparently by brother Luke starting for New Orleans, returns to QB for the Browns over Johnny Manziel.  Yes, that announcement is as uninspiring as it sounds. Unless you’re Mother McCown, stay away from any non-Manning QB brothers you stumble upon any time soon.  Travis Benjamin has done enough to warrant not being in my “bad” categiory, but throw the rest of the Browns offense in there.  I can’t tell if Oakland is actually a fairly talented and young team on the rise or just the Raiders, still stuck in a swirling vortex of crap. Latavius Murray and Amari Cooper are worth starting, Michael Crabtree seems like a boom or bust guy (what’s new), and you could do worse than Derek Carr as a flyer at QB if you need to replace Romo or Brees due to injury in deeper leagues. Oakland wins.

Ballers:  Latavius Murray, Amari Cooper

Bubble:  Michael Crabtree, Travis Benjamin, Browns D/ST, Oakland D/ST

Bad:  Josh McCown, Marcel Reece, Duke Johnson, Brian Hartline, Dwayne Bowe, Mychal Rivera

Cincinnati at Baltimore

Interesting rivalry game here with Baltimore on the rebound from an embarassing loss against Oakland and Cincy looking sharp at 2-0. This feels like it should be a low scoring game based on history, but I think both teams will put up points.  Baltimore’s defense is banged up and gave up 37 points to Oakland.  Cincy’s defense is solid, but this will be a desperate 0-2 Ravens team at home, and I think they pull it out with better production from their RBs. Don’t expect another monster game from Crockett Gilmore.  Sounds like Jeremy Hill will get the start but both he and Gio Bernard have bvalue in this one.

Ballers:  Jeremy Hill, A.J. Green, Tyler Eifert, Andy Dalton, Justin Forsett

Bubble:  Steve Smith, Joe Flacco, Giovani Bernard, Ravens DST, Bengals DST

Bad: ÂRavens DST, Crockett Gillmore, Lorenzo Taliaferro, Marvin Jones,

Jacksonville at New England

Rev up the engines for the Jacksonville bandwagon, because things just got serious!  You thought it was surprising when the Jags knocked off Miami last week, just wait until you see what they do to the Patriots this week. I’m sorry Jacksonville, I’m kidding.  I know listing you as one of the worst teams in the league last week helped propel you to victory, but even the Pope cannot help you this week. New England may have a few sloppy moments early, but at home they will win easily. Feel jolly starting your usually Patriots, but this could be one of those weeks where The Hoodie drives Patriot RB owners crazy by giving the Jags a heavy dose of LeGarrette Blount instead of their early fantasy star RB, the explosive looking, catch grabbing, and FUMBLING (two in two games) Dion Lewis. For the Jags, best bet is a big early lead for the Pats and then garbage points through the air, but do you really want to start Blake Bortles? Patriots in a rout.

Ballers:  Tom Brady, Julian Edelman, Rob Gronkowski, Dion Lewis, Allen Robinson, Patriots DST

Bubble:  T.J. Yeldon, Blake Bortles, Allen Hurns, LeGarrette Blount?

Bad:  Danny Amendola, Aaron Dobson, Jags D/ST (duh)

New Orleans at Carolina

Oh Luke McCown, you clever SOB.  Somehow Ol’ Luke parlayed his funny Verizon commercial about back up generators getting a shot at the starting lineup into his own chance at the limelight.  McCown better have his batteries charged as he’ll be stepping in for the injured Drew Brees to lead a thus far underwhelming Saint offense against a stingy Carolina defense that has only given up 26 points this season (albeit against Jacksonville and Houston, not world beaters). Linebabacker stud Luke Kuechly is likely to sit for Carolina, but this game doesn’t look, feel, or smell like one where you should expect big production from the Saints. I think Cam Newton has a solid, Cam Newton type day, with valuable rushing yards and a couple scores.  Mark Ingram should get a lot of carries, as should Jonathan Stewart if healthy. Wouldn’t be shocked to see old reliable possession receiver Marques VColston have a big day with McCown under center. Carolina wins.

Ballers:  Greg Olsen, Panthers DST, Cam Newton, *Jonathan Stewart

Bubble: Luke McCown, Mark Ingram, Brandin Cooks, *C.J. Spiller (knee), Marques Colston, Benjamin Watson

Bad:  Carolina WRs, Saints DST, Brandon Coleman,

Philadelphia at NY Jets

The Chip Kelly Academy of General Managing has gotten off to a rocky start. The offense he glued together with one recent super star in DeMarco Murray and a bunch of spare parts is, well, a work in progress. The Iggles “O” had one good half against Atlanta, and looked completely inept against Dallas last week.  In case you missed it, in that game the aforementioned Murray, last years rishing champion with more than 1800 yards on the ground, ran the ball thirteen times for two yards. That’s less than six inches per rush. To put this in perspective, try this experiment: stand up, then attempt to move just six inches or less. It’s actually hard to only move that far. Granted, you likely aren’t being hounded by gigantic large and angry men as your trying this, but that is still an amazing stat. This Jets D/ST looks really, really good, and it’s hard to imagine Philly curing what ails them on the road against that squad. I think the Eagles will look better this week than last, but they need to figure out who they are before you can feel good about any of their starters. Nelson Agholor might be sneaky good this game if Jordan Matthews is stranded on Revis Island.  Double check status of * players below, including Murray, who should play but are dinged up. Jets win.

Ballers:  *Chris Ivory, Brandon Marshall, Ryan Fitzpatrick, *Eric Decker, Jets DST

Bubble:  Sam Bradford, *DeMarco Murray, Jordan Matthews, Darren Sproles, Nelson Agholor

Bad:  Ryan Mathews, Zach Ertz, Brent Celek, Eagles DST

Tampa Bay at Houston

Even with J.J. Watt and some lingering interest from Hard Knocks, this game seems really boring to me, so I’m not going to talk about it.  Start Arian Foster if he plays.  Houston wins. Players out with injuries:  Austin Seferian-Jenkins

Ballers: DeAndre Hopkins, Texans DST, Vincent Jackson, *Arian Foster???

Bubble:  Ryan Mallett, Jameis Winston, Doug Martin, *Mike Evans (hamstring), Buccaneers DST

Bad:  Nate Washington, Cecil Shorts, Alfred Blue

San Diego at Minnesota

Phillip Rivers and the Chargers offense has been solid early this season, and that should continue against a Vikings team that is really hard to get excited about. The Chargers will get out to an early lead, forcing the Vikings to take the ball out of Adrian Peterson‘s hands (or maybe just throw it to him, cue Norv Turner) and give it to Teddy Bridgewater, who has thrown just one touchdown so far this season. Chargers win.

Ballers: Adrian Peterson, Philip Rivers, Stevie Johnson, Keenan Allen, Melvin Gordon

Bubble: Teddy Bridgewater, Danny Woodhead, Ladarius Green, Malcom Floyd, Chargers DST

Bad:  Mike Wallace, Vikings DST, Kyle Rudolph, Charles Johnson

Pittsburgh at St. Louis

There is a contrarian thread running through the betting and fantasy world this week after last week’s crazy slate of NFL upsets.  Some of that even has folks picking St. Louis over Pittsburgh, and I think those people are dumb.  The Steelers offense is steamrolling teams, and while St. Louis has some talent on D/ST, it won’t be enough.  Good news for fantasy owners is the Steelers D/ST is not very good, so maybe the Rams can put something together, but Nick Foles looked turible last week against the Redskins. Steelers win going away.

Ballers:  Le’Veon Bell, Ben Roethlisberger, Antonio Brown

Bubble: Nick Foles, Jared Cook, Tavon Austin, Tre Mason?, *Todd Gurley?,Markus Wheaton, Heath Miller, Steelers DST

Bad:  DeAngelo Williams

Late games

San Francisco at Arizona

Carson Palmer and the Cardinals have been fantasy studs so far this season, even with Andre Ellington missing time with an injury. As long as Palmer’s robotic legs can hold together, this team should be fun to watch all season, with a ton of talent and speed. San Fran is tough to figure out, I imagine they’ll want to get Carlos Hyde back on track after his monster week one performance, but that will depend on whether they can keep the Cardinals from racing out to an early lead. I don’t think they can. Don’t expect three TDs for Larry Fitzgerald again, watch out for John Brown to have a big game.

Ballers: Carson Palmer, John Brown, Carlos Hyde

Bubble: Cardinals D/ST, Colin Kaepernick, Torrey Smith, Vernon Davis, Larry Fitzgerald, *Michael Floyd (hand), Darren Fells, David Johnson

Bad:  Anquan Boldin, 49ers DST

Buffalo at Miami

Last week Buffalo was humbled by the Patriots and Miami was humbled by… Jacksonville?  Wait, what?  Two intersting teams with talented defenses that have had some ups and downs early in this NFL season.  I think this will be a slugfest, it’s tough to put a finger on anyone who looks slated for a really big game.  Possible both D/STs have strong games. Bufffalo’s secondary looked suspect last week against the Patriots, but who doesn’t?

Ballers: Bills DST, Dolphins DST

Bubble:  LeSean McCoy, Sammy Watkins, Percy Harvin, Tyrod Taylor, Lamar Miller, Jarvis Landry, Jordan Cameron, Ryan Tannehill

Bad:  I think the Bills have a guy named Boobie, don’t start him.

Chicago at Seattle

Chicago no es bueno, and even less bueno with Jimmy Clausen at quarterback and Alshon Jefferey out with an injury.  On the road. At Seattle. Kam Chancellor is set to return and unleash his special blend of hellfire on the Bears. Seattle is not an 0-3 team, expect them to jump out early and do mean things to the Bears. Players out with injuries:  Jay Cutler, Alshon Jeffery

Ballers:  Russell Wilson, Marshawn Lynch, Jimmy Graham, Doug Baldwin, Seahawks DST

Bubble:  Matt Forte, Martellus Bennett, Eddie Royal, Bears DST

Bad:  Jimmy Clausen

Sunday Night game

Denver at Detroit

Peyton Manning sprung back to life last week after reports of his untimely demise. Detroit continued to look like a mess and dropped to 0-2 with an ugly performance against a Minnesota team that looked like a JV team in week one.  Calvin Johnson did take a trip in the wayback machine with 10 catches and a score.  I think that although Manning is out of the ICU, he will have some ups and downs this season.  I think this week he is up, and the Broncos play their most complete game of the season at Detroit. Hey, I think C.J. Anderson might even have a good game for you suffering owners out there. Denver wins.

Ballers: Peyton Manning, C.J. Anderson, Demaryius Thomas, Emmanuel Sanders, Calvin Johnson, Eric Ebron, Broncos DST

Bubble: Ameer Abdullah, Calvin Johnson,*Matthew Stafford (elbow), Golden Tate, Eric Ebron, Ronnie Hillman, Owen Daniels

Bad:  Joique Bell, Lions DST

Monday night game

Kansas City at Green Bay

This should be a fun, high scoring game, expect your fantasy studs from each team to perform in ways that will please you.  Keep an eye on Eddie Lacy‘s availability before the game, but it looks like he will start, thus negating James Starks‘ value. Look for Davantae Adams to have his first breakout game of the season, as long as his own ankle injury doesn’t hold him back.

Ballers:  Aaron Rodgers, *Eddie Lacy, Randall Cobb, Jeremy Maclin, Travis Kelce, Jamaal Charles

Bubble:  *Davante Adams, James Jones, Richard Rodgers, Packers DST, Alex Smith

Bad:  Cheifs D/ST

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