Four Down Territory: Air and Opportunity

First Down

Sunday during the Titans/Ravens game there was a kerfuffle at midfiled between a few Titans and Ravens head coach John Harbaugh. It ended with some exchanging of words between coaches.

Quick note: masks go over the nose too.

After this exchange I started thinking; what head coaches would I NOT want to fight? It’s easy to look at NFL coaches and think of them as old, frail people but there are some that would give out hand sandwiches like a food bank. So, here we are.

Honorable Mention

Pete Carroll, Seattle Seahawks: Listen, Pete is 69 years old but old man strength is real and Pete possesses this old man strength. He also looks like the guy who calls everyone under 40 a whippersnapper. That’s old man code for: “I still got it so don’t try me.” Also, I’m not saying that Pete Carroll keeps a blade on him but I’m not saying that he doesn’t have a blade on him. Take that information as you wish.

5. Bruce Arians, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Think of Pete Carroll but bigger and louder. Pete is modest and will play around but Bruce doesn’t mince words and will throw at the drop of a Kangol. Bruce doesn’t believe in fighting fair and will break a beer bottle over your head without hesitation. The key to a guy like Bruce is surviving the initial blow. He’s going to run out of steam quickly and if he’s tired then he won’t be a problem but if he gets his hands on you then I hope you have health insurance.

4. John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens: I mean the man just walked up to an oppenent at mid-field and started flapping his gums. You have to take John seriously because guys like him will do whatever it takes to end the confrontation as soon as possible. Don’t be worried about the actual physical altercation. He’s the guy that starts the fight, gets punched, calls timeout, then kicks you in the groin and claims victory. He’ll also call the police and press charges even though he was the instigator.

3. Brian Flores, Miami Dolphins: He’s 39. He played linebacker. He still looks like he plays linebacker. I wouldn’t be shocked if he took scout team reps to “give the offense an authentic look.” Brian isn’t the guy who does a lot of pre-fight talking. He doesn’t need to stretch, he doesn’t need friends just in case. He’s going to methodical in his attack and is going to wear you down.

You trying to throw with this guy?

2. Sean McDermott, Buffalo Bills: These AFC East coaches, right? This is a name you probably didn’t think of when you started reading but Sean is the most dangerous kind of opponent. He looks soft-spoken and easy to take down. What most people don’t know is that Sean was a national prep wrestler in ’92 and ’93. He also was an all-conference safety at William and Mary. Translation? He’s quick and powerful. When you fight guys like Sean it’s like fighting three people at once. He’s 5’7″ so he’s already low to the ground and powerful. One takedown and it’s a wrap.

1. Mike Vrabel, Tennessee Titans: WHO ELSE COULD IT BE? Mike is the guy who lets you hit him first; those men are the most dangerous people on earth. Mike sees his own blood and giggles. Not laughs, giggles. He’s a maniac and avoid the smoke at all cost.

You know what, maybe a visual will help translate what I’m trying to say. Guess how Mike is.

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