First Down
This is how the NFC East stacks up after the first week in December.
- Cowboys (6-6)
- Philadelphia (5-7)
- Washington (3-9)
- New York Giants (2-10)
Or, for those of us who are here for these jokes…
Updated NFC East standings: pic.twitter.com/p7EZj1ijcP
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) December 1, 2019
It’s insane to think that the winner of the division could be 9-7 or 8-8…if things fall right for Washington a 7-9 team could not only make the playoffs, they could host a home game against San Francisco, Seattle, Minnesota, or the Rams.
So, why is the division so bad? No one expected the Giants or Washington to make much noise but what’s going on in Dallas and Philadelphia? Why are they having so much trouble grasping the division?
Well, let’s start in Big D.
Dak is having an MVP season. He’s leading the league in yards, third in TDs, and third in total QBR. Zeke is having isn’t having a vintage season by his standards but still ranks in the top ten in yards and TDs. Amari Cooper also ranks in the top ten in receiving yards and touchdowns.
To recap: the Cowboys have three players on offense that rank in the top 10 at their position. They also have a top ten defense, statistically speaking. With all that working for them they can still only post a .500 record. They also haven’t beaten a team with a winning record.
This is a reflection of coaching. Since taking over the Cowboys in 2010 Jason Garrett’s record is 83-65 (.561). That’s just good enough to keep you around but not bad enough to get rid of you, especially if the owner likes you.
Jason’s days appear to be numbered, though. Jerruh Jones dropped this gem.
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Jerry Jones: “In my opinion, Jason Garrett will be coaching in the NFL next year.”
— Jon Machota (@jonmachota) December 3, 2019
Translation: I can’t love you but someone else will!
Odds are Dallas wins the division; they’re just making it harder than it has to be.
Now, to Philadelphia.
The Eagles sit at 5-7 after an embarrassing loss to Miami on Sunday. Carson Wentz has clearly regressed and the secondary resembles that of your local high school. DeSean Jackson’s injury derailed the offense, which is a reflection on poor roster construction, and it’s been a slow grind since.
With that being said it should be noted that the Eagles have had injuries to key positions all year. Against Seattle they were missing two starting wide receivers, their starting running back, their right tackle, and the starting right guard left during the game.
Let this tweet sum up the Eagles season.
https://twitter.com/thehonestball/status/1201259472305315840
Just for the record; the Dolphins kicker has more production from that one TD catch that most of the Eagles starting WRs. lololololololol.
Second Down
The Panthers have decided to move on from Ron Rivera.
Panthers fired Ron Rivera.
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) December 3, 2019
Panthers’ owner David Tepper on the firing Ron Rivera: “I have a great deal of respect for Ron and the contributions he has made to this franchise and to this community. I wish him the best. I will immediately begin the search for the next head coach of the Carolina Panthers.”
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) December 3, 2019
Ron leaves the Panthers with a 76-63 record, three division titles, and a Super Bowl appearance. It’s been speculation the the Panthers would move on from Rivera but it wasn’t supposed to happen until the end of the season. After losing to Washington on Sunday that timeline was expedited.
For the record: the Panthers’ new owner is a hedge fund guy. That means he’s not out here settling for mediocrity and wants results fast. The best owners in the league have shown they can exercise patience; we’ll see about this one.
So, what now?
If the draft started today the Panthers would be 12th. For a team that will probably move on from Cam Newton that spot isn’t high enough to draft a future signal caller. They either have to lose more or explore free agency for a quarterback.
A rule of thumb about that; typically if a quarterback hits free agency that means the team he’s leaving didn’t think he was good enough to pay.
Whoever inherits this team will have tough decisions from day one.
My guess for the new head coach? John DeFilippo.
Third Down
Extra points this week is going to be special so we’ll use third down for football jokes. Cool?
ladies and gentlemen
we got them pic.twitter.com/dVpq12pebV
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) December 2, 2019
Chris Colinsworth on commentary>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“He’s a stud when you meet him, he’s THICC”- Cris Collinsworth losing his mind over Deshaun Watson pic.twitter.com/BL5GhlW0DP
— Barstool Sports (@BarstoolsTweets) December 2, 2019
Three 6 Mafia would be proud.
Benny Snell has a spinner on his mouthguard 🔥
(via @thecheckdown) pic.twitter.com/hJuBo6J3vE
— Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) December 1, 2019
Football is violent.
Daniel Jones got hit so damn hard here it knocked the Y off the Giants logo. pic.twitter.com/z9Virs0mYM
— Bobby Mason (@325_Hawks) December 1, 2019
Buffalo Super Bowl champs confirmed.
Shaq Lawson said “You ain’t eating sh*t” while mocking Zeke
PETTY 😂😂pic.twitter.com/HUV87VqEVl
— Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) November 29, 2019
Fourth Down
Gonna be honest; last week I got wrapped up in that whole Thanksgiving thing and didn’t do picks. My bad.
But we’re back! This season I’ve gone 78-46.
Winners are in red.
Thursday Night Football
Dallas @ Chicago
Sunday Afternoon
Indianapolis @ Tampa Bay
Baltimore @ Buffalo
Detroit @ Minnesota
Washington @ Green Bay
Denver @ Houston
San Francisco @ New Orleans
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Carolina @ Atlanta
Miami @ New York Jets
Los Angeles Chargers @ Jacksonville
Kansas City @ New England
Tennessee @ Oakland
Pittsburgh @ Arizona
Sunday Night Football
Seattle @ Los Angeles Rams
Monday Night Football
New York Giants @ Philadelphia
Extra Points
This isn’t related to football at all but these Baby Yoda memes are the best. Let’s all laugh together.
any given character from big little lies on their balcony at 6am pic.twitter.com/CKWq2ml5l5
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) November 30, 2019
my number one boy pic.twitter.com/d9UibVgjOG
— sarah j. dudski (@dudski) November 30, 2019
https://twitter.com/1stDownMoses/status/1200978521163743232
When Kyler Murray goes under center pic.twitter.com/osnOBDPhyh
— Steven Ruiz (@theStevenRuiz) December 2, 2019
— John Boyega (@JohnBoyega) December 2, 2019
Africa by Baby Yoda pic.twitter.com/NNWrnl0bQE
— égua™ (@a_demare) December 2, 2019
Nobody puts #BabyYoda in a corner…#TheMandalorian pic.twitter.com/VZM0uuVgka
— Ken Plume (@KenPlume) December 4, 2019
As always, thanks for reading.
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