I doubt Mary Shelley ever intended her 1818 classic, Frankenstein, to inspire the amalgamation of current NFL WRs into a fantasy football monster, but it’s a bar room conversation that needs fleshing out. Pun intended.
This list is only going to include WRs currently in the NFL. I could name Jerry Rice, Calvin Johnson, and Randy Moss for all of these but that would be boring.
Body: DK Metcalf, Seattle Seahawks
There is a better than zero percent chance he was created in a lab. He’s 6’4″, 235 lbs, with 9 7/8″ hands, a 4.33 40-yard dash, a 91st percentile catch radius, and a 97th percentile burst score. He uses his size to devastating effect against much smaller defenders. Seriously… the average CB in the NFL is 5’11″/195 lbs. The tape tells a tale of disaster to the defender giving up five inches and 40 lbs to this monster.
A monolithic base has been established. On to arguably a WR’s most valuable asset(s).
Hands: DeAndre Hopkins, Arizona Cardinals
Do I need to continue? Who could forget this play from Week 10 against Buffalo? Reliable hands are mandatory for the perfect WR. He also protects the ball after he catches it. He’s put it on the ground eight times in his seven-and-a-half-year career. For perspective: his fellow 2013 draft mate, Keenan Allen, has fumbled 12 times even though he has played in 24 fewer games than Hopkins.
Before a bunch of folks @ me: Yes… I know Larry Fitzgerald has more career tackles than drops, but he’s no longer in his prime and the young fellas need some shine!
Route running: Stefon Diggs, Buffalo Bills
According to Matt Harmon’s Reception Perception, Diggs was one of only two WRs with a completely green success by route chart in 2019. That means he has an above-average success rate on every route in the tree. His production in 2020 further solidifies him as a top WR in the NFL. This perfectly crafted WR is going to incorporate this skill to turn DBs in circles all over the field.
Athleticism: Tyreek Hill, Kansas City Chiefs
There may be WRs who ran a faster 40-yard dash during the pre-draft process, but no one can hold a candle to his in-game speed and quickness. His 6.53 second three-cone drill time shows he can turn on a dime much like the animal with which he shares a name. Defensive coordinators and defensive backs are the doomed gazelles in this scenario. How scary is a DK Metcalf sized human being running a deep post at Cheetah speed?!
Run after catch: Deebo Samuel, San Francisco 49ers
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Samuel is built like an RB at 5’11″/214 lbs and he plays like it. His average depth of target on the season is 2.4 yards. You read that right… 2.4 yards. He has 391 receiving yards on the season, so he’s using his incredible run after the catch ability to create magic in open space. Violent, beautiful magic. Fun stat: he has more yards after catch (398) than he has has receiving yards on the season.
Durability: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Our perfect WR already has the body of Metcalf, so is there some sort of way to extract the durability from a player… Wolverine style? We need that healing factor! Landry has been a paragon of durability and consistency. He has averaged 8.7 targets per game while playing every game since being drafted in the second round of 2014.
Humongous, catches everything (not you COVID-19), runs every route with success, quick as lightning, moves like an RB in open space, and can’t be injured? I’m just a fantasy football writer, but right now I feel like an evil genius!
I could continue adding pieces to this perfect WR but I’m on the verge of hitting diminishing returns. I’ll stop while I’m ahead to step back and beam with pride at this Hall of Fame caliber talent I’ve sewn together word by word. The only way this WR doesn’t end up in the Hall of Fame is if Adam Gase is his head coach.
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