The Worst Fans In Football

Fandom is such a wonderful thing. You fall in love with a team and follow them through the good and the bad. Most fans are normal, sane people. Then you have hardcore fans that are annoying and habitually take things too far. Here’s a list of the latter, the worst fans in all of football.

7. New York Jets. This is more of a sympathy thing than anything else. The Jets have had to endure so much that they’ve become an adjective. Geno Smith gets his jaw cracked during training camp? What a Jet thing to happen. Brett Favre sends explicit picks to a cheerleader? What a Jet thing to happen. Rex Ryan’s urge to get a god**** snack? Such a Jet thing. Fireman Ed taking a three year hiatus because the team was so bad? You got it, what a Jet thing to happen. To their credit Jet fans are loyal to a fault. It doesn’t matter how bad the team is they’ll still talk trash to anyone who opposes. You have to admire that.

6. Philadelphia Eagles. I’m an Eagles fan and I get it. We drink, curse, and sometimes we’re delusional. We boo if we don’t like what we see on the field and we’ll turn on a player the moment they have a bad game. It’s said so much that it’s cliche but we’re passionate. We love the Eagles and are just craving a championship. Once you get to know us we’re quite lovely to be around. Our tailgates are unmatched and the city is magnificent. That is, unless you’re a Cowboys fan. Stay at home if that’s the case.

Probably a Second Grade Teacher.
Probably a Second Grade Teacher.

5. Oakland Raiders. I know a few Raiders fans and they are flat out crazy. The black hole is a place outsiders should leave to the imagination. The sweetest soul can turn into the devil if they’re a Raiders fan and that’s normal. They love Oakland, and their team and are literally willing to fight anyone who dare speak bad about them. Let’s face it, if you’re willing to wear spiked shoulder pads in public you’re either the Road Warriors or someone who’s not to be messed with.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers. Here’s the thing about Steelers fans; they usually keep to themselves until someone, or something sets them off. Once they get started you might as well walk away. They’ll start waiving that towel and drown you with how historic their franchise is. If you run into a real jerk they’ll just yell “Sixburgh” until it’s time to shove something down their gullet.

3. Seattle Seahawks. Ah yes, the Seahawk “fan.” It’s easy to spot these people. They’re usually wearing a Hawk Beanie and can’t tell you anything about the franchise before 2012. They swear they’ve always been a Seahawks fan but if you look in the back of their closet you’ll probably find a Brady jersey. Pay attention, over the next couple of years that Seahawk green will be Panther blue.

2. New England Patriots. Patriot fans swear that they’re hated because of all the winning they’ve done over the past 15 years but that isn’t the case. Patriot fans are hated because they’re jerks. They’re hated because the NFL destroyed all evidence of them cheating. They’re hated because your owner and Roger Goodell are BFFs, well that is until this deflategate debacle happened. They’re hated because your team is shady and will bend the rules in order to win. They’re hated because the NFL made up a new rule just because the Golden Boy was injured one year. They’re hated because this entire dynasty started because of a blown fumble call. No one hates a winner, just look at Golden State. With all that being said we can’t deny that this team still wins. We hate that the most.

Cowboy Fans in December.
Cowboy Fans in December.

1. Dallas Cowboys Ah yes, the Lakers fan of the NFL. Cowboy fans are the absolute worst fans in the NFL and maybe even on earth. We all know a Cowboys fan and they live in the land of fantasy. Every year we hear, “oh yeah, it’s our year! We got player x and he’s the difference maker! SUPER BOWL HERE WE COME!” Then when the season is over they’re 9-7 or 8-8. Cowboy fans don’t use logic because….they just don’t know how to be logical. Do this, talk to a Cowboys fan about their mediocrity and I guarantee you by the third sentence they’ll start talking about how many rings they have and how your team doesn’t have any, or less than them. It’s the only thing they know how to say. If it were up to them they’d grab a time machine an travel back to the 90’s aka “the good ole days.” What makes this worse is that the fanbase has adopted the unofficial slogan, “they hate us cause they ain’t us.” False. We hate you because you act like winners when you haven’t done anything significant in 20 years.

I’m sure you’re itching to light my mentions on fire so here it is, @mattgarrett41.

As always, thanks for reading.

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Matthew

Never fight the funk, ever.

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