Why I Hate Going For 2

Well I’m back dear reader!  “Back from what?”  You might be asking yourself, well I’ll tell you.  Back from my two week suspension for having the audacity to write a column about “Why I Hate The San Francisco 49ers”

Why would I get suspended for that?

It’s because the old man who runs this site loves that team and he’ll be damned if his own site were to mock them.  So that asshole suspended me.  One condition for me coming back to write is that I apologize, so here it is, I’m sorry I’m not sorry, and that’s the best you’re going to get.  So in the words of ESPN’s Keith Olbermann, “don’t take this completely seriously, I don’t mean it completely literally” but here is why I Hate GoingFor2.com

The Owner:  Let me start with the asshole who suspended me.  This unrelenting editor is constantly demanding content from us writers and barely contributes any of his own.  Then he brags about the profits the site makes and have us writers seen a dime?  Nope, we have not.  Also this “man” — if I can call him that — can’t even grow a full beard, he does the world a pseudo favor by growing a goatee to cover up his hideous face. I feel a sack with an eye hole, much like what the Elephant Man wore, would be more pleasing to the eye.  Also he’s old.  No one really knows how old, some say 38, others say he signed the Declaration  of Independence, still others say he was the goat in the manger when Christ was born.  I think he also kicks boxes of kittens for fun.  What I’m trying to say here is that he’s an evil bastard.  Fuck you Geoff!

Our “Expert” Draft:  Coming soon from this site will be our Fantasy Football “Expert” Draft.  This hasn’t been one of those Fantasy Drafts where we all get online for a couple of hours and make our picks, or get together at a bar and drink and make our picks over an evening of wings and beer.  No, this draft has been going on for weeks, all of our Experts have made their picks via Facebook, complete with a write up, and it goes on 24/7.  I think I made my last pick at like 1 am Sunday Morning while playing Batman Arkham Night (side note, awesome game, you should really buy it).

No Video Game Coverage:  To piggy back off of that last point there is zero video game coverage on this site and that meant I was unable to obtain a press pass for this year’s E3 show, which means I missed out on the Fallout 4 premier, Super Mario Maker, Star Fox, Uncharted 4, Halo 5, playing around with all the different VR stuff, and most importantly I could have met the Nerdist’s Jessica Chobot.  Thanks again Geoff.

Me:  I’m just the worst, all I do on this site is bitch and moan about everything, I’m a terrible critic.  Nothing about my criticism is constructive and I’m just a curmudgeon.  Nah, all of that is bullshit, I’m awesome.

Fantasy Preview:  I’m being forced to write two Fantasy Previews for our roll out of Fantasy Preview section.  I think I’ve proven time and time again that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.  I could tell you which two teams I’m covering but it’s not my job to help you with your fantasy draft so fuck you.  Read this site with caution.

The Name:  GoingFor2?  What the hell is that?  Sure it’s a reference to going for a two point conversion in football, but we’re not just a football site, we cover all sports with the exception of hockey, because Geoff’s an asshole, In fact, since the inception of this site we’ve covered more baseball and basketball than football, so our name is ridiculous. Even if we were just football that fact we use “2” instead of spelling it out just shows this site is ran by a man with the mind of a first grader.

So that’s it, that’s why I hate this stupid fucking site, you can disagree with me all you want but I want you to know you’re wrong and I hate you.  However, if you’d like to know more about me, and why wouldn’t you, you can follow me on the Twitter @jomac006 or learn about my awesome writing career here https://www.facebook.com/fjoshuamccain?ref=hl , or if you’re a fine lady you should swipe right on Tinder. note from the editor Swipe left ladies, LEFT!

ATTN Dynasty Commissioners: Do you want to do something cool for your league? How about a 1-hour live show dedicated to YOUR league? Team-by-team breakdowns, rankings, and more. For details and to book a show, visit: GoingFor2.com/plp.

The GoingFor2 Live Podcast